Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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