Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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