Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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