Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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