dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
