Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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