are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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