Don't you send me to vm
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
