Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
