He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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