i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
