3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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