I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
