they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she woke up with a sticky ear
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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