i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
