i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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