I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
