i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
