I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
