He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
