Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
