Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
