Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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