new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
