I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
