All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
