I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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