YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
