how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
