All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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