That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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