It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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