what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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