Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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