Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
