she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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