At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
