Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
