I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
