Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize