I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize