"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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