Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
