I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Those nachos came to me in a dream
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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