Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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