just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
