Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize