Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
