Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize