Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
