thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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