so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
