i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
