you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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