based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
