I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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