Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize