Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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